Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
