How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
