I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
