I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
The chlamydia really affected his face.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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