Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
