His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
