i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
