Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Randomize
