About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
