you would pick up someone in the library
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
