I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Your penis caused this!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
