it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
