im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
