Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
