wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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