so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
