she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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