life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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