I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
