you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
