youre lurking in front of me
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
