some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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