she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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