No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
