those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
