Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
