Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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