In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
