This is not my ceiling
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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