What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
