I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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