She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
