But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You really coming over, don't trick.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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