k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
