a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
