i don't like sucking hair
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
