She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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