All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
