so explain again why im purple
no
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
