Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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