I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
