would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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