Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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