I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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