I love black thongs
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
