Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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