just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
