I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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