that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Randomize
