to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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