what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
